From Women Who Are Angry and Afraid
“It took years for me to really understand that a man had been telling me what I should be comfortable with and that the fear of being seen as evil had silenced my own instinct to defend the rights of women and children.”
I know that as a generally open-minded person who tries to be kind and understand others’ viewpoints, the same courtesy will not be extended to me. Every time I choose silence over open discord, whether to preserve myself professionally or in my personal relationships, I feel acutely my second-class status as a woman. I must be silent because a man says he is a woman, or I will pay a steep price. I feel angry and afraid.
I have a Twitter that 15 of my longtime real life friends follow, I have had the account for 10 years but never really used it. Recently I started using it by “liking” and following posts from GC accounts. I have my real name on the account and am constantly worried that someone will notice while simultaneously kind of hoping they will see and join me. I have so much I want to say and write but I haven’t for fear of being dumped by all my friends. But I know I must come out soon, my conscience is screaming at me that I can’t be silent anymore.
I feel my speech has been strangled. That I can't voice concerns or oppose something without the risk of being ostracised. That my rights are being stifled by men pretending they speak for me.
It's frustrating living in a country where minority girls are given away to older men in marriage, and having rich, educated, white men and women educating me that men can be women. It's frustrating having to respect the special and unique identities of the bourgeois in order to not to be cancelled. My nature, my biology, my body is not a costume.
I see the current promotion of transgender rights as an attack by men on the hard earned rights of women so far. It is a roundabout way to lessen our value as women and once again equate us to humans whose sole identity is based on ourability to reproduce. I have been "surprised" by a transgender man [sic] in a public washroom and asked by my grandchild why a man was in the ladies washroom. I should not have to explain this to a toddler, nor should i have to worry whether this person means me harm or not. Most public places have a designated "family" washroom, where a person can privately do their business, no matter their gender. Transgender men [sic] can use that. Leave women the spaces and rights they have earned as respected human beings.
The first time I heard the term “transwomen are women” was years ago was from a husband of a friend. He was saying how evil the conservatives were for the bathroom bills. Something did not sit right with me but I thought “well I’m not a conservative, and I’m not evil, so I must be wrong...” but TWAW still struck me as wrong. It took years for me to really understand that a man had been telling me what I should be comfortable with and that the fear of being seen as evil had silenced my own instinct to defend the rights of women and children.
I have a sister who was gender nonconforming in the 80s/90s. She wore her hair short, wore boys clothes and swim trunks, she would ask my mom to pretend she was a boy and we even have an old home video where she asks if she could pretend she had a penis. We never told her that she was a boy, but my mom allowed her to dress and look as she wanted. She grew out of it around puberty and is now a happy, healthy, married woman with a good career and hopes of being a mother soon. If she were a child today, I’m sure she would have ended up being treated as trans, maybe not by my mom but likely by teachers or other authority figures and would probably have been given “gender affirming” care. Even just a few years ago, she used to joke that she grew up as a boy. Now she never jokes about it, I think we all know what would have happened if she were young today and no one wants to bring it up. I’m working up the courage to have the conversation with my family and share my gender critical views.